So your ex got primary residential custody of your child/children, and he or she won't give you copies of grade cards or tell you when parent teacher conferences are. What can you do?
So long as you have joint legal custody of your child, the school should allow you to communicate with them and you should have access to your child's school records, at least as long as they are under 18. Remember, joint legal custody means both parents have access to the child's records and both parents have a say in major decision making for the child.
Schools really don't want to get between you and the other parent when it comes to access to school records, schedules, conferences etc. They may already make the assumption that all parents have access to their child's educational information. If not, all you should need to do is show them a Court Order granting you joint legal custody and that should allow you access to your child's educational life just as if you were the primary residential parent. That includes online access to your child's school records through the school website (most schools have a way for parents to access current school assignments and events through programs like Powerschool or Skyward).
If a teacher or school secretary is hesitant to communicate with you out of an abundance of caution related to laws that protect students' personal educational information, make sure you have a current copy of your most recent custody order, and make sure the order is a certified order (that means the Clerk of the Court stamped the Order to attest that it is a genuine copy of what is in the Court's own file). You should be prepared to show that to the school officials--you may need to talk to the principal if you don't get anywhere with the teacher or the secretary. Remember--the teacher or secretary may have heard from the other parent that your parental rights are limited or non-existent. Your child's other parent may not have even listed you as a parent when enrolling your child.
Once you show the Court Order to the appropriate school officials you should have immediate access to your child's records. Perhaps the school would even be willing to send you a copy of the grade card if you ask. So long as the Court Order doesn't restrict your contact with your child (as in specifying only supervised visits) you should have no problem visiting your child's school, downloading school assignment information, and accessing the school calendar so you will know when all the special fun school events happen.
If for some reason you don't have joint legal custody, the school may within it's rights in denying you information about your child. If that is the case you need to contact a family law attorney who can advise what it would take to amend the Court's Order.
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